Letters to Bumblebee

Dear baby, 

You probably know by now I’m sentimental. You also probably know I love documentation, organization, and data. That’s why I write about everything “big” in life. You know I wrote your daddy “dear husband” letters dating back several years before we ever met? It’s because I wanted to believe he would be real someday, I wanted him to know I was thinking about him, even before I knew him. Well, baby, I’ve done the same for you. I’ve been writing letters to you since daddy and I decided we wanted a “you.” 

Here are a few of those letters. 

May 15, 2015

Baby Bee,

Your daddy and I have wanted you for so long. We’ve talked, dreamed, and prayed for you. Daddy and I haven’t been married long, but we are so ready to bring you into our life. So, we made a decision. We are going to start trying to make you real. We weren’t really trying to prevent you from coming to us before. But now we are going to do everything we can till you get here.

Honey, I’m not sure how long it’s going to be till you start to grow in my tummy, but I already love you. I can’t wait to meet you. I can’t wait to raise you and see who you become.

I love you, my baby.

Come soon.

-Mommy
—–

September 25, 2015

Baby Bee,

I don’t know what to say. Honey, it’s only been a few months till we “officially” started trying to have you. Since then, I’ve become pregnant. Twice. Neither one was successful. I miss them, but mostly I just really want you even more now.

Someway, somehow, we will have you in our life. Maybe not in the way we thought, but you’ll be ours. And we will love you.

I can’t wait to meet you.

I can’t wait until you exist.

Love, Mommy
——-

December 27, 2015

Baby Bee,

Christmas just passed. The entire holiday season I kept thinking what Christmas would be like with you. I spent the entire season wishing you were in my tummy, or in my arms. I am jealous of other mommies who have their babies and got to spend this time with Santa and family and a baby. I want you.

It’s been hard. I want you, but I can’t have you yet. I know God must have a reason, but it’s really hard to see it right now. I know there are our people who have waited longer (like Aunt Kate) or who have lost more. But there are also people who have lots of babies and don’t seem to deserve them. I know it’s wrong of me to judge them or compare myself to them, but it’s hard not to.

I guess what I’m saying is I really want you, baby. Hurry up and get here. We’re waiting.

I love you.

-Mommy.
—–

April 7, 2016

Baby Bee,

I’m so sad. Some days are easier than others, but today is one of the hard ones. So many of my friends get little babies of their own, but I don’t understand why I don’t have you yet. I really want you in my life. I have so many plans for us. Hurry up and get here, baby.

I already love you so so much.

Love,

Mommy Bee
—–

June 27, 2016

Baby Bee,

Daddy and I are still waiting on you to make your appearance. We have had lots of appointments with lots of doctors already. Why are you taking so long? We are confident the doctors can help get you on board. If I promise to take extra good care of you, will that convince you to get here already? Because I will. I pinky promise. We are trying to stay patient. It’s hard sometimes, but we are doing it. Auntie Kay and Uncle Andy are going to have a baby. Wouldn’t it be cool if you had a close friend you could play with? If you hurry up you will!

But it’s okay if you want to take your time, too. We also know that maybe you aren’t in my tummy. Maybe you are already out there in the world somewhere and we just have to find you. Well we are looking, baby.

No matter what, we love you. Whoever you are, wherever you are… we love you!

I can’t wait to meet you, Baby Bee.

Love, Mommy.

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